How to get people to like you
We might as well admit it, we want people to like us. You may hear someone say: "I don't care whether people like me or not". But whenever you hear anyone say that, just put it down as a fact that he is not really telling the truth. One of the deepest drives of human nature is desire to be appreciated. The longing to be liked, to be held in esteem, to be a sought after person is fundamental in us. A poll was taken among some senior school students on the Question : What do you most desire ? By over good majority the students voted that they want to be popular. The same urge is in older people as well. Indeed it is doubtful if anybody ever outlives the desire to be well thought of, to be highly regarded, or to have the affection of his associates.
To be master of dressing sense of popularity, be designing less. Strive deliberately after popularity and the chances are you will never attain it. But become one of those rare personalities about whom people say : "He certainly has something." and you can be certain you are on the way to having people like you. I must warn you, however, that despite your concern in popularity you will never get anybody to like you. There is a curious quirk in human nature whereby some people just naturally won't like you. However, there are certain formulas and procedures which if followed faithfully, can make you a person other people like You can enjoy satisfactory personal relationships even if you are a difficult person or by nature shy and retiring, even unsocial.
You can make of yourself one who enjoys easy, normal, natural, and pleasing relationships with others. I cannot urge you too strongly to consider the importance of this subject and to give time and attention to its mastery, for you will never be fully happy or successful until you do. Failure in this capacity will adversely affect you psychologically. To be liked is profounder importance than mere ego satisfaction. As necessary as that is to your success in your life, normal and satisfactory personal relations are even more important.
The feeling of not being wanted or needed is one of the most devastating of all human being relations. To the degree to which you are sought after or needed by other people will you become fully released person. The 'lone wolf', the isolated personality, the retiring individual - these people suffer a misery, which is difficult to describe. In self-defense they retire even farther within them-selves. Their ingrowing, introverted nature is denied the normal development which the outgoing, self-giving person experiences.
Unless the personality is drawn out of itself and can be value to someone, it may sicken to die. The feeling of not being wanted or needed produces frustration, ageing and illness. If you having a feeling of uselessness, If nobody needs or wants you, you really ought to do something about it. It is not only a pathetic way to live, but is serious psychologically. Those who deal with the problems of human nature constantly encounter this problem and its unfortunate results.
A young girl told me that she had been unwanted ever since the birth. Someone had given her the notion , She was an unwanted child. This serious idea had sunk into her subconscious, giving her a profound sense of inferiority and self-depreciation. It made her shy and backward, causing her to retreat into herself. She become lonely, unhappy and was in fact, an under-developed personality. The cure for her condition was to revamp her life spiritually, especially her thinking, which process in time made her a well-liked person by setting her personality free to herself.
Countless other people, not particularly victims of deep, unconscious psychological conflicts, have never mastered the knack of being popular. They tried hard enough. They even go to extremes, often acting in a manner they do not really enjoy, but which they employ only because of their intense desire to have people like them. Everywhere today we see people putting on an act because of their inordinate desire for popularity in the superficial sense in which the word is often used in modern society. The fact is that popularity can be attained by a few simple, natural, and easily mastered techniques. Practice them diligently and one can become a well liked personality.